Pushing Through – Knowing When It Is ok To NOT Be Ok!

Self Help & How to push through Depression Anxiety Loneliness Heartache Family Trauma Mourning. Know when it's ok to NOT be ok

As I write this, I’m compelled to tell you that today, yes folks, I am going to be serious! It’s not often I am. You will usually find me taking the p*ss & cracking jokes. It’s my coping mechanism! It isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But, it can also make you look a lot more “together” than you actually are! Which can sometimes mean that those around you have no idea what you’re dealing with or going through & therefore, don’t offer a shoulder to cry on, support or a lending hand when needs be.

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In turn it can become a very lonely cycle, have you ever been surrounded by people, but feel completely alone? Yes that feeling is all too real! Having a support network of friends is imperative for your mental well being. You might not realise it, but even your crazy, insane best mate can be a source of stability for your mental health. We all need a laugh & a giggle, along with a cry & a good old moan over a cuppa tea now & then. – Your sanity will thank you later!

Sometimes we look to other ways of coping with sadness & depression. If we don’t have a family by our side, or a good support network of friends, life can get glum, pretty quickly! Looking for other ways to cope with what life is throwing at you can be a good or bad thing! Depending on how you choose to seek it & what it is you seek! Feelings of being alone in this world can either make or break you.

Having anxiety or depression often gives you a label to others, they don’t want to be burdened with your feelings. Well that’s how it can feel at times. I guess it’s the anxiety that makes you afraid to share your emotions with the world because you’re afraid of the outcome, what they’ll think of you. How they’ll react. So having a medium to let it out is a good thing.

Changing scenery is a must. Your surroundings can make or break your whole mood! For instance as I write this I am sitting in a trendy London Coffee shop, rather than sitting indoors being gloomy, I decided to drag myself up & out with my laptop & headed out for a breath of fresh air & it already made me feel that little bit more optimistic about the day! – Go me!

Speaking from experience & coming from a huge family where you were always taught “blood is thicker than water” to having nothing & no one by your side is pretty depressing in it’s self! So what can we do to overcome these feelings of loneliness & self pity?

Get yourself out of this rut –

Take walks & appreciate nature – One major thing about feeling down or depressed is that it takes hold of you & drains you mentally. This feeling of depression can make you lose the will to interact with people, can make you clamber into your own mental little box or confine yourself to your home, only further plunging yourself into a deeper hole. I know, I love being at home in my PJ’s but there’s staying home because you want to feel relaxed & there’s staying home because you can’t “deal” with what the world is throwing at you, nor do you want to even entertain the fact of interacting with people! Although it is not as easy as it seems, taking walks & appreciating nature will definitely uplift the spirit & lighten the mood.

Faith – Knowing that no matter what, Allah (God) is always there for you can really help you see things in perspective. As Muslims, we are taught to praise God in good & bad times. So overcoming doubts & fears by praising Allah & returning to Him will really help your faith & give you strength to get over the bad patch in your life.

Start a hobby – As the saying goes “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” If you are suffering from depression & stay idle, while isolating yourself from the world, then you are only going to spiral deeper into depression. Having a hobby you can really get your teeth stuck into helps immensely & I certainly recommend if you are ever struggling, just try something different, you may surprise yourself! Starting a hobby can also act as an effective barrier against depression & keep you busy & your mind on other things.

Changing your diet – Yes, silly as it may seem, but the foods we consume can effect our feelings & moods. I have found myself reaching for those scones with clotted cream for comfort! We all have something that we think brings us comfort, but in all honesty, it’s only aiding to the depression! Not only that, also contributing to unhealthy weight gain! So, changing the foods we eat can help, also trying supplements & oils can really benefit. Did you know, for instance, that magnesium oil is often referred to as the “chill pill” because of it’s relaxation properties? It regulates the body’s response to stress – the secretion of Cortisol in the brain (the stress hormone) – No weed needed here! 😛 Simple changes can boost your mood & also help your overall health.

Try these simple changes in your diet –
  • Fill up on starch by eating more whole grains & legumes.
  • No brainer – Eat plenty of fruits & veg.
  • Focus on eating fatty fish, like salmon or tuna, in place of red meats.
  • Add in healthy fats, like raw nuts and olive oil.

Do something you love, or challenge yourself! – I have a love for interior design & DIY, so I found giving the place a lick of paint & up-cycling some old pieces of furniture really lifted my spirits! While I’m not suggesting you redecorate, I am saying you should do something that helps you feel optimistic & you can start by doing something around the home, it can lift your spirits. If you can’t stretch to painting, or you don’t have the passion for it, nor the skills. Even something as simple as cleaning up the house & changing around the rooms/furniture can make you feel a little perkier! It can give you new perspective on things (mainly your view) & make things seem brighter!

Most of all, remember, its OK to NOT be ok! Don’t suffer alone/in silence. Don’t be afraid to reach out. Being in a dark place can affect you in so many ways. You don’t want to interact or join in with anything. Push yourself, reach out, put yourself “out there” invite friends out for a coffee or a play date with the kids. Having that little interaction will help immensely!

Hey you! Have you ever had any feelings of anxiety or depression, or know someone that has? How have you overcome this, or how do you plan to? Reach out to me & let me know in the comments below & don’t forget to share!!

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1 Comment

  1. 28/02/2019 / 9:01 pm

    LOVE this! Such a good message! And boy did I need it! I am certainly the class clown in any group so I get the idea of people not realizing the things I am facing, but also I wear my emotions on my sleeve and on my FACE! I don’t fake it well! So sometimes that helps people know that something is going on!

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